Be Your Dog’s Coach, Not Their Boss

A lot of people approach dog training with the mindset of “I’m the boss, you’re the dog, and you’ll do what I say.” It’s a pretty common way of thinking, and honestly, it’s how most of us were taught. But I want to challenge that idea.

Instead of being your dog’s boss, I want you to think of yourself as your dog’s coach.

When a dog chooses focus over chaos, that’s progress worth rewarding.

A coach doesn’t just issue commands or punish mistakes. A coach teaches, guides, corrects, and helps the learner understand what their choices mean. Coaching isn’t about power or control. It’s about communication and growth.

When I’m working a dog, I’m not thinking, “Do what I say or else.” I’m thinking, “Hey buddy, when you make this choice, something good happens. When you make that choice, something less pleasant happens.” I’m giving feedback that helps the dog figure out the world.

Example: Leash Reactivity

Let’s say your dog sees another dog on a walk. He barks, lunges, and loses his mind.I’m a balanced trainer, so here’s how I handle it. I’ll say no, maybe give a pop on the leash, and then I’ll try to show the dog what I do want.

I’ll encourage him to look back at me, focus, and walk calmly. The moment he makes that choice, he earns a reward. That might be praise, food, or just calm acknowledgment, depending on what motivates him.

Notice something. I didn’t correct the dog for looking at another dog. I corrected the decision to bark and lunge. That’s the difference. I’m not punishing curiosity or energy. I’m giving clear feedback about an inappropriate decision.

In that moment, I’m not being his boss. I’m being his coach. I’m saying, “Hey, that didn’t work out. Try this instead.”

Feedback, Not Anger

A good coach doesn’t get angry every time their student makes a mistake. They give feedback, make adjustments, and move forward. The same applies to dogs. They don’t need a dictator. They need someone who’s fair, consistent, and willing to teach through both correction and reward.

Dogs learn from the outcome of their actions. Our job is to make those outcomes clear. Good things happen when you make good choices. Unpleasant things happen when you make poor ones. That’s how the world works. We’re just communicating that clearly and consistently.

Every step is communication. I’m not leading by force, I’m leading by clarity.

The Goal

The goal of this mindset is not perfect obedience out of fear or pressure. The goal is understanding. You want your dog to trust you, to look to you for information, and to understand how to succeed in a human world.

So the next time you’re out walking your dog, remember:You’re not the boss barking orders.You’re the coach helping your dog become a better version of himself.